


Suddenly I See

by xanzpet (gleefulmusings)



Series: Verses [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-02
Updated: 2012-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-01 00:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleefulmusings/pseuds/xanzpet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean can't stand to be away from Tara, no matter how much he wishes he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly I See

_Her face is a map of the world,  
is a map of the world.  
You can see she's a beautiful girl,  
she's a beautiful girl.  
And everything around her is a silver pool of light,  
the people who surround her feel the benefit of it.  
It makes you calm;  
She holds you captivated in her palm._

_Suddenly I see (suddenly I see),  
this is what I wanna be.  
Suddenly I see (suddenly I see),  
why the hell it means so much to me._

~ KT Tunstall

 

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn't that she didn't want him; he could deal with that just fine.

And he was all about lesbians! He couldn't have been happier that there were hot ladies in the world who only dug other chicks.

Besides, it was a riot watching her blow off guys who desperately tried to get her attention. That she was, most of the time, so oblivious to their intentions only made him like her more. She was completely unaware of her own beauty. It was refreshing and honest, and curious and sad all at the same time.

It was that she reminded him so painfully of Sam.

Not in terms of looks, of course. Tara was blond and fair and soft in all the places of which most women could only dream.

It was that she was quiet, _guarded_ , in possession of secrets and knowledge which had always been denied to him; as if she, like Sam, was complicit in some grand universal conspiracy to keep him ignorant.

She didn't make him feel dumb or excluded or _less_. If anything, she was warm and tender, gentle and kind, and seemed to understand him far better than he ever had or ever could understand himself.

Like Sam.

And so when he looked at Tara, he didn't see just her. She was an echo, a reminder of an absence he could never fill, one which he didn't necessarily _want_ to fill, but wanted to ignore, at least for a while.

He tried to stay away from her. She never pressed him when he failed to show up for lunch at the diner where she waitressed. She never scolded or punished him, never wheedled or cajoled, but one look in those huge blue eyes and he knew that she had missed him and he felt like a total asshole.

She was leaving soon anyway. For college. Like Sam.

Another reminder of something he could never have.


End file.
